One woman's search for knowledge, truth, beauty, serenity, peace, harmony and all that crap.
for lack of a better title
Published on June 25, 2006 By Ms Mitchell In Poetry
I dreamt I was in the school play
A musical about the
Triangle Shirt Waist Fire
Of all things.

Dress rehearsal
Fin de siècle bustle and blouse
Make good tinder.
Horsing around backstage

Elaborate adolescent improv
My algebra book slips
Down the trap door
To the dusty underside of the stage

Can’t clamber down in costume
Pete—not my Pete—Pete, the team captain
Who never noticed me in school
Retrieves it for me and smiles

Like a yellow lab waiting for me
To scratch his ears or pat his head
I don’t think anything of it
Just being a good Christian boy.

And then there is danger
As though the play I’m dreaming
Is real and we are escaping
Huge black ash bats.

Pete—the one I haven’t seen in twenty years—
Grabs my hand and pulls me to safety.
And still I think
He’s just being nice.

Then Pete—who in real life is
Happily married to the quiet girl
Who played French horn—
Kisses me.

Sweetly, innocently, entirely
The way only sixteen year olds
Of twenty years ago
Can.

I wake before he can
Punch my shoulder and say
See ya tomorrow, Mitchell.
And spoil the whole thing.

Comments
on Jun 26, 2006
Big smile. Capturing a dream so complete is damned near impossible. You turned this into a great narrative with a payoff I can completely understand and appreciate.

Uniformly great writing as always.

So, what's this dream mean to you?
on Jun 26, 2006
I forgot to say "Thanks."
on Jun 26, 2006
So, what's this dream mean to you?


My Pete is a guy I dated for several months and remained friends with for two years. He's the one a few of my other pieces are about. So when a Pete I haven't thought about in ages show up in my dreams, I think it's symbolic of all the things I wanted but couldn't have. All the things I have had to let go of: being a happily married stay at home mom, being a prosperous attorney's wife, having kids free of emotional disabilities. I have trouble interpreting my own dreams, but this one was cinematic. My guess is it's about moving cross country and letting go of unrealistic expectations. Recognizing blessings that are in front of me. I don't know. Any insights for me?

Thanks for reading.
Maggie
on Jun 26, 2006
I think it's symbolic of all the things I wanted but couldn't have.


That's insightful. I often dream of my teenage years. Although those years couldn't have sucked more in real life, in my dreams the teenage years are truly halcyon, healthy, vibrant, and romance actually happens in a healthy, beautiful way...just like in your dream.

I've always thought such dreams serve as a blessing to fill us with feelings that we could have experienced had life been ideal. In fact I was wondering Does this kind of thing really happen? It's a familiar scene when 'the most coveted member of the opposite sex at school actually noticed me' and sweet, beautiful romance ensues...

No, I think it mostly exists in people's adult dreams, resulting in those teen movies that make us wish for something that never was. But I love dreams. They make dredging through the other 16 hours of the day almost worthwhile
on Jun 26, 2006
But I love dreams. They make dredging through the other 16 hours of the day almost worthwhile


Abso-bloomin-lutely!
on Jun 27, 2006
OK, here's my two-bit analysis:

I find it interesting that there is peril implicit where the poem takes place: the musical(!) is about a real-life tragedy and later the make-believe bats become real. Backstage, there is an air of foreboding - then Pete (never sure which Pete, which only adds to the reader's uncertainty) becomes heroic, first by retrieving the lost book, and later, by pulling you to safety. Interestingly, both times, you never allow yourself to give into the moment: first, you rationalize that he is being a "good Christian boy" and later by waking up before the fantasy will be ruined (which sounds like a foregone conclusion). This is a dream about bad things happening to you and someone (or something) coming to your rescue, and how there is something in you that is unwilling to let yourself savor the moment of being cared for.

My suggestion: the next time someone tries to do a loving, caring or perhaps courageous thing for you, allow yourself to luxuriate in it.

BTW - the title is perfect "Subconscious Backstage" - to me, it implies an attempt to get a hold of and understand the ineffable subconscious, which is, after all, what interpretation of a dream is.

If my interpretation is completely off-base, then what did you eat prior to going to bed? -- Moskowitz
on Jun 27, 2006
Wow, you remembered all that! I like your definition of your analysis better - sorry Mr. Moskowitz!

I agree with Mr. Moskowitz, apt title!


guess is it's about moving cross country and letting go of unrealistic expectations. Recognizing blessings that are in front of me



This says it best from what I read.
on Jun 28, 2006
I like your definition of your analysis better - sorry Mr. Moskowitz!


I agree. My analysis is probably more about me!
on Jun 28, 2006
wonderful writing. I feel dreamy now, too.
on Jun 28, 2006
My suggestion: the next time someone tries to do a loving, caring or perhaps courageous thing for you, allow yourself to luxuriate in it.


Great insight. It seems that in most of my grown-up life, any kindness or tenderness came with a price tag. Thanks for the analysis.

My analysis is probably more about me!


It does seem that we are walking similar paths, in our poetry and in our parenting. Perhaps I am being presumptuous.



I agree with Mr. Moskowitz, apt title!


Thanks. I wrestled with that and finally just flung something on top.

wonderful writing. I feel dreamy now, too.


Glad you liked it.

I'm glad folks are reading what I put out there.