Stuff you hear in my house...heaven help me
It can be fun having smart (aleck) kids.
10. On a bad night at a support group----You know you've got troubles when a toothless crack whore with an ankle bracelet offers to light a candle for you.
9. On the movie Apocalypto---The intense violence made up for the amount of man-ass in it.
8. At school---Which one is your son, the white kid?
7. On fast food---Why does Taco Bell in Wisconsin have better Mexican food than Taco Bell in Phoenix? (btw try Federico's 24 hour drive through burritos the size of your arm for $3.89)
6. On Spirit Week at school---What's the point of Twin Day when we wear uniforms?
5. On the Fauna of Arizona--Do rattle snakes and gila monsters leave a poison trail when they crawl?
4. On evading curfew--Hey Mom! let's you and me sneak out the window and get some pop from the gas station. They'll never know we were gone.
3. On my cell phone in the middle a faculty meeting--Hey Mom, where's the nearest emergency room?
2. My youngest to his dad---Mom found this stuff that makes [11yo] not crazy anymore. You should buy 5 or 6 boxes.
and the number one
1. YOUR MOM'S A NON-SEQUITUR!