Lily remembered the first night she came to work here over a year ago. She was still working on her degree and money from Derek had dried up. Her first night, she walked up and knocked on the door eager to begin, eager to make a good impression.
Darlene, a large woman with no top teeth, wearing Sponge Bob Square Pants scrubs, greeted her.
“Libby Costello?”
“Lily. Yes.”
“Right. Come on in. I’m Darlene. I’ll show you the ropes.”
“Great. I’m really excited about this. I graduate in May from Bellin. PT and OT. This is great, right up my alley.”
“Libby—“
“Lily.”
“Right. What did Sandy tell you at the interview?”
“That I would be in charge of the care of two high functioning clients, and I would be acting as shift manager.”
“She told you that?”
“Why?” Lily felt as if she had swallowed a rock.
“Here’s the deal. Here, clock in. Sign the bottom at the end of your shift or you don’t get paid. I am going to give it to you straight because I am giving my notice tomorrow. You are a glorified babysitter for 6 clients. These two in here. Charlie and Martin. Upstairs you have Ray and Stanley. Next door you have Teng downstairs and Robert upstairs. Ray and Stanley are high functioning. You won’t need to do a thing with them unless you here a thump. That means Ray is having a seizure.”
Lily got out a legal pad and started making notes.
Darlene continued, “If Stanley’s room alarm goes off, just wait for the toilet to flush. If you don’t hear it, or if you hear him on the stairs, or if, Heaven forbid, the front door alarm goes off. He’s just sleepwalking. Run get him and lead him back to his bed. He won’t give you any trouble.”
“Do I log any of this?” Lily asked.
“You can if you want. Each of the clients has a notebook. You can jot it down if you want. The only thing you really have to keep track of is the prescriptions. I’ll show you how to do that.”
“Ok, so what about the men in the other house?”
“Teng is smart. Hmong, you know. Quadriplegic. Car accident, I think. He only needs a pill at five o’clock. His TV and bed are all voice activated. If he needs you, he’ll call you on the baby monitor. If he asks you for a cigarette tell him you don’t smoke.”
“I don’t.”
“His daytime guy will give him a smoke. He’s not allowed to after bedtime.”
“And upstairs?”
“Don’t go up there!”
“What? How am I supposed to take care of him?”
“The girl that was here before you, he yanked her ponytail so hard it made her head bleed. She quit. If you hear anything on the monitor other than a toilet flush, call Sandra’s beeper and she’ll send Mike to deal with him.”
“Who’s Mike?”
“The guy who deals with Bob.”
“Okay. Got it. Don’t go in there.”
“Most of your night you will spend right here. You can watch TV, do whatever you want. But you can’t sleep. You have to clock in every half hour. Basically, that’s it until morning.”
“So I pretty much sit here all night watching television and make sure that nothing catches fire?”
“Yep. Pretty much. I usually set the timer so I can at least sleep for a half hour at a time. Just be aware that Sandy likes to watch with binoculars and pop in from time to time. If you get caught sleeping, your fired.”
“What about these two? Not high functioning?”
“They’re both severe to profound. Neither one is potty trained. Neither one can talk. Charlie is in a wheel chair. Martin can walk but he can’t talk. I’d say he’s like an eighteen-month-old.”
“How old are they really?”
“Martin is twenty-two, twenty-three maybe. Good looking kid. Mexican, you know. Charlie is fifty-something. Martin can feed himself. Charlie you have to spoon feed. Oh yeah, you have to do the housekeeping. Day shift does the bedrooms. You do everything else in here. Don’t worry about the other units, just keep this one clean. You have to sign off on the checklist every night.”
“What do we do now?”
“I’m going to lay down for a while. Punch my time-card for me, would you?” You want the recliner or the couch?”
“I, uh, actually brought some studying. Is that okay?”
“Knock yourself out. Four-thirty, okay?”
Darlene stretched out on the couch and covered herself with the afghan. Lily got out her books and her laptop and wrote most of a term paper that was due soon. She did set the timer on the oven for 30 minutes at a time so she wouldn’t forget to punch the clock. At about 3:00 a tall Hispanic man appeared in front of her as she sat at the kitchen table. He looked at her and dropped his pants.
“Darlene! Is this Martin?”
“Martin, get in the shower, come on.”
Martin grunted and ran the other way.
“Get the Cheetos.”
“What?”
“In the cupboard next to the fridge. Get a handful of Cheetos. He will follow them into the shower.”
“Luckily, he’s only wet. When he’s dirty, you have to change him quick.”
“Okay, I’m afraid to ask but why?”
“He has Pica. He eats it. He eats everything. Which reminds me, you want to keep and extra set of scrubs here in case he gets any on you.”
“Ten bucks an hour. Ten bucks an hour.”
“Eleven for night shift. That’s why we’re here.”
They worked together to shower and dress Martin in clean pajamas, strip and make his bed and run the laundry.
“Why don’t they use disposable diapers for him?”
“He shreds them and eats them.”
Darlene and Lily quickly wiped down the kitchen and bathroom and ran the Swiffer over the floor. Then it was time to get Charlie up for his bath and pills.
Charlie was a small hunchbacked man. Darlene and Lily got him into his chair. While the tub filled Darlene shaved him with an electric shaver and brushed his teeth with an electric toothbrush. Then they got him into the tub. Once he was clean and dressed they wheeled him into the living room where Martin was standing with a handful of his own feces.
“Oh Shit!” Darlene cried. “Come on, Martin, back in the shower.”
Lily tried to smile and not retch. She grabbed the latex gloves and the disinfectant and cleaned everything that had been touched. I can’t do this! She fought the urge to run for the door right that moment.
“Darlene, when is payday?”
“The first of the month. You just missed this pay cycle, so your first check will be the first of March.”
“March. Great.” Lily gritted her teeth and scrubbed her hands.
Once the clients were fed and medicated and Carla on the day shift arrived, Lily went to her car and bawled.