Lily remembered the first night she came to work here over a year ago. She was still working on her degree and money from Derek had dried up. Her first night, she walked up and knocked on the door eager to begin, eager to make a good impression. Darlene, a large woman with no top teeth, wearing Sponge Bob Square Pants scrubs, greeted her. “Libby Costello?” “Lily. Yes.” “Right. Come on in. I’m Darlene. I’ll show you the ropes.” “Great. I’m really excited about this. I graduate in May fro...

“Lily, we need you to come in to work right away.” Lily sat on the edge of her bed with one leg trying to wriggle into her pantyhose with her Blackberry clamped between her ear and her shoulder. “Sandy, I’m on my way out the door for church. Can’t you get someone else? What about Darlene; she’s always looking for more hours.” “Darlene will be here.” “Well, what do you need me for? The clients will be on family visits.” “Lily, I am not at liberty to discuss this over the phone. We are hav...

The ring of the Blackberry startled Lily. It was after midnight, but she was still up—would be for a couple of hours yet. The caller ID read “Azalea”. Lily knew what she would hear on the other end. “Lily? It’s me.” “Zaya, what’s wrong?” Lily asked. Azalea had pronounced her name “Zaya” as a baby and the nickname had stuck. Now only Lily called her that. “Can you meet me at Denny’s for a soda?” “Baby, I don’t want to leave the kids. Why don’t you just come over here?” “Because I’m alread...

I had this dream. It was one of those cinematic dreams that has nothing to do with your waking life. It even had the movie trailer voice over guy. So I woke up and the characters had names and I had seen whole scenes between them. Not being one to snub a muse because she doesn't let me check my palm pilot before scheduling a visit, I started working on it. I'm plowing through a "brain barf" rough draft. I'll rearrange it in a sensible order later. Because it's not coming out in a tidy chronol...

She runs a bath to the bottom of the overflow valve with water just on the edge of too hot. She lights the candles on the vanity and lowers herself into the tub. She lies absolutely still for what could be a minute or it could be a half hour. There is no sound but the occasional plop from the end of the faucet and the intermittent sighs that are her substitute for sobbing or screaming. At length, she lathers up her leg and shaves it. Slow motion strokes. This long white leg. The shaving ritua...

First of all, I hope you will forgive me for using this forum for business purposes, but I simply can't keep this to myself. It would be selfish. My 11 year old was diagnosed at age 7 with bipolar disorder. For the past 4 years it has been a constant battle to get him stabilized. He would have rages that lasted for hours and I would have to send the little ones to lock themselves in their rooms and ask the teenagers to help me restrain him... and spackle the walls when it was over. In Octo...

Twenty years ago today I was killed and you were not You still grieve—Stop it, Dork! You let me sit up front Even though I was The younger brother—way to go, Ace! You knew I was dead Even before the drunk Drove up the off ramp—well, Duh! You partied too hard and drove too fast Trying to catch up to me But you couldn’t make the jump to dead—Klutz! You put me on the mantle Jammin’ on my bari-sax Even dead, I’m cooler than you—Nerd! You smell lemon Pledge And you th...

It can be fun having smart (aleck) kids. 10. On a bad night at a support group----You know you've got troubles when a toothless crack whore with an ankle bracelet offers to light a candle for you. 9. On the movie Apocalypto---The intense violence made up for the amount of man-ass in it. 8. At school---Which one is your son, the white kid? 7. On fast food---Why does Taco Bell in Wisconsin have better Mexican food than Taco Bell in Phoenix? (btw try Federico's 24 hour drive throu...

The Fortune Teller The fortune teller emerged from the draperies that formed her stall. She had been working county fairs and Renaissance festivals and Earth Day celebrations since she was old enough to rebel against the bra as a "male invention designed to subjugate women." Her long brown hair had only a very few silver threads and it accentuated her pleasantly horsy face. She wore Indian broomstick skirts and Birkenstocks. She draped herself in shawls and beads and bangles. A moonstone w...

What do you do when your memories get underfoot? You're walking along minding your own business And you smell aftershave Or hear a ring tone Or see a stupid moon That takes your breath as suddenly as a punch to the gut You close your eyes and drink in the delicious pain Of the first kiss and the last kiss And the way breaking up left you Having tantrums in the shower Where no one could see or hear you. You know how memory leads to memory And you wind up face to face with Assh...

Down the basement steps that are more like a ladder Braving cobwebs that brush like ghost hair And centipedes that saunter away to a crack Not allowing one the dignity of having startled it. On a rusty cot Matted hair Sunken eyes The basement girl She can't scuttle into a crack So she shrinks into herself And hides behind bent knees Curled like an armadillo Hoping we'll go away. Sacred woman of light approaches Singing a song we three know from childhood. She doesn't mi...

Here's the deal. I'm a white mid-westerner teaching music in urban Phoenix. In the course of a day I teach about 75 students. Of those 6 are Caucasian (one of those is my own child), 11 are African-American, two are Pacific Islanders, two are Asian and the rest are Latin American. Now, if I use short hand terms like white, black and Mexican, please don't jump all over me, I'm not trying to be politically incorrect, I'm trying to be succinct. I have been accused of being racist because I wo...

Here's the deal. I'm a white mid-westerner teaching music in urban Phoenix. In the course of a day I teach about 75 students. Of those 6 are Caucasian (one of those is my own child), 11 are African-American, two are Pacific Islanders, two are Asian and the rest are Latin American. Now, if I use short hand terms like white, black and Mexican, please don't jump all over me, I'm not trying to be politically incorrect, I'm trying to be succinct. I have been accused of being racist because I wo...

I remember being a little girl--seven years old. A cold gray afternoon--I don't remember any leaves on the trees--I was walking past St. Mary's church. A little, blue, iron mailbox on a cement post stood across the street. My mother had probably sent me to mail a letter. I looked up at the church, the steeple with its star-bursting cross, its stained glass , its white plaster statue of Mary whose sweet face and outstretched arms were poised to embrace all who came near. The mystic aura of the...

Amid the lesson plans and curriculum maps and bureaucratic hoops, amid the constant round of homemaking and mothering, amid the demands for money that I don't have, I've gotten a little crazy. I still miss Wisconsin and I keep referring to it as "back home". I got an irrepressible urge (almost a call) to write along with a numbing case of writer's block. So I wrote my Dad a letter. I talk to my mom on the phone, and Dad is always on the extension. He just can't get a word in edgewise. So if I...